Spider-Man 3: The Rant

It's around one AM and I just got home from a 9:45 PM screening of one of the big 2007 summer blockbusters, Spider-Man 3.

I'm trying to write this blog entry before I read any reviews. I tend to read a couple of critic reviews after I watch a film, just to see if I've missed something. It turns out that sometimes, it affects my recall of the experience in such a way that it may alter my opinion in some way. So just to keep me honest, this rant/review is all me.

I'll try to keep this spoiler-free.

OK. First thing's first. Spider-Man was good, Spider-Man 2 was excellent, Spider-Man 3 was not bad, but not very good either.

[Here be spoilers (what just after one paragraph?!)]

Things I like about it:

• Bryce Dallas Howard - I've seen The Village and The Lady in the Water (unfortunately) and just who turned this lady into a hotchick?!?! Good lord, was she smokin' in this one. I didn't really know that she'd play Gwen Stacy. I might have seen that somewhere, but not really remembered. So when I saw her name on the credits, I thought, "ok, how will that work out?" Well, it DID work out. And sure as this movie blew the box-office wide open, she'll be back in the next installment.
• James Cromwell - Not a big role here, but I just plain like this actor from Farmer Hoggett to Zephram Cochran. Should lend his talents to future installments.

Oh god, off the top of my head, those were the things I liked. Dismal, really. Let's get to...

Things which are pretty much OK:

• Characters/Actors doing their thing - Aunt May, J. Jonah Jameson, Robbie Robertson, Miss Brant, The professor guy, Uncle Ben, etc.
• The Black suit - In the comic books, the suit was plain black, with white eyes and a white Spider-Man logo on the chest and that was good minimalism. This movie version was just his costume on monochrome, as you may have seen on the promo materials. Makes sense. Ive got nothing on the detailed suit.
• The Sandman/ Flint Marko - OK, not bad. Loved the actor in Sideways, by the way.
  
• The opening credits - You knew, watching the opening credits of Spider-Man 2 that that movie was going to be special. Alex Ross painted scenes from the first movie, brilliant. It was like looking at the first movie with a new set of eyes. In this one, actual clips from the previous two movies, it's more of like cheating. Not bad, but obviously somebody ran out of ideas.
• The length of the movie - clocking in at two and a quarter hours, pretty much expected from a high-budget blockbuster. Wouldn't really have expected any less.
  

Things I hate about it (in no particular order):

• Topher Grace/Eddie Brock/Eric Forman/Venom - I've got nothing against this guy. I like him in That 70s Show, Traffic, even cameos in Ocean's Eleven and Twelve. But he is simply not what I had in mind when I thought of Eddie Brock and Venom. I might be thinking of bulked-up Eddie Brock on steroids like in the comics, but certainly not this pimply-faced retro kid (dumbass!). In retrospect, it may have been better to cast this guy as Carnage instead if ever that comes along.
• The drama - Where the hell is the action? Keep the drama brief except when it makes sense.
• The comedy - The first two installments have bits of comedy. But this is just a mess. Plain idiotic at times. And the dancing, ugh.
  
• The Evil Peter Parker look - Star Trek's Spock character revolutionized the way good and evil were depicted on screen. Good Spock: normal-looking. Evil Spock: normal-looking with goatee. In this movie, Good Peter Parker: normal-looking. Evil Peter Parker: crazy-eyed looking with bangs.
• The Green Goblin II / New Goblin (as he is called in IMDB) - the change of heart, the acting, the costume, the amnesia, the steal-your-girlfriend angle. Doesn't work really.
• The story. Black Spiderman? Venom? Sandman? Gwen Stacy? How could you go wrong? Oh wait.

[END SPOILERS]

Anyway, this is just me. I've gotta go read some reviews.

Oh, and go watch Spider-Man 3. It's probably not as bad as I think it is. ;)