[Heads up. Long read/rant]
Just today, a nagging itch in my life finally got scratched.
You see I was stupid enough not to have renewed my U.S. Visa back in 1998, when I was in college. I didn't know what I was thinking at the time but it turned out to be one of the biggest regrets of my life. It came and bit a big chunk of my ass in 2003, when I absotively-posilutely
had to be there for my sister's wedding in San Francisco.
--
Way back when we were kids (late eighties), we were denied twice already for a U.S. visa and opted instead for a trip to Hong Kong. It was a good consolation at the time, of course. I didn't know what the fuss is about in the U.S. except for what I see on TV. On the third attempt, it would be the first time we went to the U.S. embassy ourselves and smiled at the consul. I remember he was of Asian descent and not particularly nitpicky. My father did all the talking and me and my sister did all the smiling. And that was it. We were given 5-years, multiple entry.
We went there in 1992, went around in San Francisco, Virginia/Washington D.C., New Jersey/ New York, Florida then finally, Los Angeles. Maybe one of the best trips of my life.
We returned in 1994 for our grandparents' golden wedding anniversary which turned out to be a big success, even if I remembered I lost my coat/blazer before the night started and had to borrow from somebody else. I experienced the great American long drive to New York from Washington D.C. Aside from that, it's mostly lazing around the house in good old
Manassas, Virginia where my cousins live. Suburbian living at its finest.
1997, I didn't know, would be the last trip over there. It was a packed three-week vacation, going back to Florida for another run at Disneyworld/EPCOT, MGM, and Universal Studios. At this time, I just renewed and was given a one year, multiple entry visa.
After that, the long exile.
--
My sister planned to get married late 2003; I wanted/
needed to go.
I thought I'd still be able to renew my visa via dropbox since I was still just about in the period when I could still do that. But, after September 11, 2001, you know you just can't. In fact, on 9-11, watching TV, I truly thought, 'Now how the fuck are they going to give me a visa now?'
So we set out arranging everything for the interview, gathering requirements, and paying the necessary fees. The only thing missing was (get this), what the consul asked for. The lady had asked for an invitation to the wedding. Being as it was still relatively early, there were no invitations made yet. Bam! Denied.
Ok, so we get it. Try again. With wedding invitations this time.
Another $100 and a couple of weeks later, second try.
Standard questions: What is the purpose of the trip? To attend my sister's wedding (shows invitation). How long have I been working? How much am I earning? Where are my relatives at the moment? etc, etc , etc
"When is your sister's wedding?"
"November 29th"
(types something) "I'm sorry I can't give you a visa"
(me, speechless. then...) "You can't? Why not?"
"I just don't find you qualified"
Bam! Denied. In. My. Face.
I was pissed. My father was pissed. My family was pissed.
So I missed the wedding. I was alone on my birthday and on Christmas 2003. Well, it basically fucked up my life then and there. The whole not being there for the family on a once in a lifetime occasion. The whole thinking I'm not good enough. The whole thinking when will I ever be good enough. For us Pinoys, it's difficult not to take it personally. It wasn't any different.
--
Another thing about Pinoys is the infatuation with the land of opportunity. In some cases, it borders on obssession. Check out this conversation with my cousin:
Luis: lipat ka na ba dito tapos magtatago
Tonton: di ah. iba-blacklist ako sa bangko
Tonton: sabay sa buong banking
Luis: hahaOr this with my mom:
Mama: sabi ni Nanay ( ni Mike) ihahanap ka daw niya ng mapapangasawa dito. Sigh.
As if being there is everyone's ultimate life goal. But true enough, it's what millions, maybe billions of people risk everything for: a chance to make it in the U.S. To wait decades for the petition to push through, to marry an American citizen, to give birth in the U.S., to unethically beef up the resume, to suffer long periods of unemployment and underemployment, to sneak across the border, to spend life savings, to leave family behind. Just for a chance.
Meanwhile, guys like me, who have honest intentions and earnest reasons get the disappointing and truly disheartening stamp on the passport. "Application received." Denied.
--
This time, however, armed with a new set of personal particulars, a couple of notable stamps on the passport, the glimmering surface of an issued U.K. visa, and the employment pass, things were looking good.
I booked the early morning appointment, wore my best office attire and smile, and waited for my turn. Answered the standard questions.
"You can pick up your visa on Monday, between 2:30 - 3:30, on the receiving window outside."
"Monday, 2:30. Thank you, Ma'am" [Face stapled with a smile that lasted throughout the day]